That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
