Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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