Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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