she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
