I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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