oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
