Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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