why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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