exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
