Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
