i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
