I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
