it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
