i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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