i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
