i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
