Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
