he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
