I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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