I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
