Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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