what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
