The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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