Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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