you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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