It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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