nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
