Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
