He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
