Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
