im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
