She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
