If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
