I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
