dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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