I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
