My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
