Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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