I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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