I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
