Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
