Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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