I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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