she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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