I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
