Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
