So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
