wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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