would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize