Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize