just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
