Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
