Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
