Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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