apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
