He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
