don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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