That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize