Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
