Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
