is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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