His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
