You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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