I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
