that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize