dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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