Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
