I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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